I Want to Marry the Sheriff of Mayberry
Tammy Robacker
Tammy is a sensitive observer of the human experience - especially the beauty, successes, pains & obstacles of intimacy. Her poems range from celebratory and edgy to mournful and brutally honest.
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I Want to Marry the Sheriff of Mayberry
I want to marry the Sheriff of Mayberry
on account of I need to start a family and good, honest,
workin’ men are too hard to find in this city. I’ve plum run out of
ideas. So I want to marry Andy. I want the fantasy. I could be
a step-mother to little Opie. Because I reckon his real ma died
some time ago and I think they might have room for a new wife
character like me in that sleepy R.F.D. I want to help run things
in the kitchen with Aunt Bee. Make biscuits. Or steep sweet tea.
I want her to trust me so much, she’ll share her secret recipes.
She’ll welcome me to put on one of her frock aprons
before I fry my own plates of chicken just like family.
I want to cook dinner for Andy. He can even invite the deputy,
Barney. And Thelma Lou too. But not Helen, Lordy.
I would make him dump Crump and propose to me by Season 3.
I want to neck with the Sheriff of Mayberry. In his ’62 Ford
Galaxy. We could park the patrol car near a deserted field
where the locals sneak to mill moonshine or shoot skeet.
I want to sleep with the Sheriff of Mayberry. I would take
the other twin bed in his room, and reach across the nightstand
for him every evenin’, the way proper married folks do
at the Desilu studios, once they dim the lights on the set.
I want to marry the Sheriff of Mayberry. Have him sing to me.
Love ballads from the porch swing. Strumming his guitar
and crooning all the words acapella to old fashioned songs
about sweethearts or mountains or loneliness. I want to marry
the Sheriff of Mayberry. And when the TV lights up every night,
there we will be, The Mr. and Mrs. Andy Griffith Show,
whistling the opening theme.
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Tammy's Poetry:
☆ I Want This Poem To Be
☆ I Want to Marry the Sheriff of Mayberry
☆ On the Bureau, Bullets
